I've decided to go ahead and close this blog in light of my recent graduation. triggXR also seems full and "heavy" with my experience in my doctoral studies which have now ended. I plan to keep the original triggXR postedexcept to fix broken links. I'm trying to emulate a starting with a fresh "pallette" or journal by moving the triggxr2.com.
Today I got an email from the good people at Centrum who have accepted me into the master's workshop with Mark Doty! There is something to be said for uploading your crappy poems and not looking back. I got my money's worth for that PhD. If I can overcome the voice in my head that writes for science publication maybe I'll be a poet again. Or I keep the voice and make an inner choir.
I had to go over the poems to get them formatted for submission. I was amazed by how much the language and the phrasing that I used in the 90s anticipated the explosion of the information age yet to come with the internet. Now having read the postmodernists I understand my own poems better. I was doing postmodernism without knowing a thing about it except that Jane Miller had called herself a PoMo poet. I love that Jane Miller.
I always said the poems were written using a formula (which really is written down somewhere in one of my journals). What I remember about the formula is that it included found language and broken sentences, and had to somehow be glued together with a true emotions story line of some sort.
No decision about whether to update this profile, or start another one. I do have a few ideas.
Back to snow, book chapters and polishing crappy papers to submit to medical & nursing journals.
I was just about to change the profile on this blog to reflect my recent graduation when it occurred to me that perhaps I shouldn't. I've struggled with finding a way to use the computer to replace the old journals into which I used to hand write my notes. Those each came to an end and I'd start another, decorate the cover with whatever I had on my mind at the time. What if this blog were to come to an end and I started another one for the next period of my life?
I've already started a rather dry blog at www.aethno.com/wordpress which I'm using to construct an autoethnography of my doctoral studies. I mean for that to be a tool for learning autoethnographical research methods.
I'll think about it before I change the profile. If I change the profile, it won't reflect the profile that I used to start this distinct collection of writings and musings.
I think if I start another one I'll call it triggXR with a 2 in it somewhere.
It has snowed every day here for one week. The temperature has stayed below freezing so we have snow frozen over snow. As you can see my sled dog mix loves it. When he comes in the house he has snowflakes embedded in his outer fur layer. We've seen him lay down in the snow and cover his nose with his tail, but I haven' t caught a picture of him doing that.
I've made it to the hospital and back the last 3 days in my VW but today I could not get home on my own. I got stuck in an intersection on a hill when I had to stop for the light. The snow was finally just too deep for Paloma. A man came by and offered to tow me for 20 dollars and I took him up on it. I told him I wanted to give him some more money but we'd have to stop by the cash machine. He got me up the worst of the hill, followed me into BankofAmerica parking lot and I got 100.00 out for him. Before I gave it to him he told me about being mugged when he stopped to help someone the day before. One of the bandits asked him for change for a 100 dollar bill and when he reached into his pocket, the other bandit hit him with a 2x4 and sped away--they weren't stuck at all! I thought he was going to cry when I gave him the 100 bucks. It's not often you get to see money solve a problem in person. He showed me his lower lip which had two large cuts and was very swollen. I told him I was putting a blessing on him for being such a good Samaritan.
I've been getting a sick pleasure out of documenting my smaller pets struggle with our inappropriate weather. The cat insisted on going out this evening, but seemed to ask us to leave the door open while she did her business. I just caught a shot of her falling through the ice on the surface of 7 layers of snow as she no doubt wanted to slip off privately to take care of business. She sunk like a rock. I ordered my partner to go out with the cat to make sure she was safe! Fortunately the cat turned around and came back in the house. I guess the litter box doesn't seem so bad under the circumstances.
There are a lot of us here in Seattle who don't really understand this snow or where it comes from. Have we stolen the snow of some barren ski slope? Some little town that needs the revenue gleaned from snow bunnies? This morning I saw someone skiing down my street. It just never snows like this here! And there's a reason we don't live in Madison, WI, or Minneapolis, MN, and it's been right outside my door for a week!
We have 2 little 10 pound dogs who have to go out every so often to do their business. This is the only time that I don't mind my sister smoking--she takes the dogs out with her every time she needs a cigarette. We aren't beasts but we just got these little dogs house trained after very long time and a lot of work. We bundle the dogs up in "layers" of dog coats. They look ridiculous but they bravely go out and face the weather.
I've been using the time to break in my new laptop and polish up my poems to send off to Centrum. I just put them all into one file and uploaded them without hesitation. That's what a dissertation has done for me! Doesn't matter how crappy you suspect your work might be, you hand it in. You are done when you turn in your last crappy paper. My work always seems crappy to me. I might be a little obsessive compulsive.
I'm a psychiatric/mental health nurse practitioner, postmodern redneck. Postmodernists say that we are not individuals, that we "perform many different subject positions." I plan to use this blog to perform them all in one place. Let's see what happens.
This is an old picture of me. It should stump my cyber-stalker.