less mystery, more me.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

this blog

Since I put the blogs that I like on a list in the side bar, I come here several times a day to read the blogs I've admired.

The blog has become a place where I read think and daydream, much as I used my journals in my 20s and 30s. I think I still have time and I kept journals for much longer than I didn't keep them. I'm getting back into it. I've also started reading wonderful books about writing fiction, and today a book told me not to give up on my dream, and that writing CAN be taught.

I'm on it.

2007 Sherry's Heza Krul lesson #2

2007 Sherrys Heza Krul, originally uploaded by eleniRX.

I had another riding lesson today. We drove to Marysville where are we board our horse in the red beetle. This is a picture of E. from last year riding Sherry before we bought her. This is the arena we ride in.

It was such a great day I can't begin to describe it. The sun was out the horses were happy. There were 3 of us in the arena riding and each getting our lesson at our own level.

I was scared tacking up but not while riding. I was afraid while tacking up because I have to learn to lift each of the Sherry's hooves and clean the debris out of her shoes. Yesterday Sue had me stretching Sherry's hind legs out the back and resting them on my knee so I could do the cleaning. Sue is also a nurse with more spine & shoulder ailments than me, so if she can do this I'm pretty sure I can.

I find as I get older and have dealt with the spine issues I'm afraid of more and more things. Somehow riding this enormous horse is helping me overcome this tendency toward fear.


Friday, June 27, 2008

purge 2

No I am not manic, and I didn't buy a second convertible. We are not purging the red Miata. The Miata is my sisters. She's been staying withsince last New Years.

My best half credit for this purge. She went through the clothing and found three bags of things that we either cannot wear or really should not wear. You see the three bags here are parties are waiting for the charity to pick them.

I'm blogging today using my Dragon NaturallySpeaking, which recently had a service pack update and I have to say it's good. I think the only thing holding me back today is this really crappy headset. In trying to dictate more at home so that I can sit in a more ergonomic position and save my neck, shoulders and arms further nerve damage. At this point I dictate almost all day at work and it is second nature to me now. I'm leaving in most of the errors it makes so you can see how good it's working now. I've only changed one entry that made the sentence unintelligible.

I'm now working on purging the papers on my desk. Those of you who know me well enough to have ever seen my desk at home know me know that it is invisible. The desk is usually hidden under a pile of papers piled on top of papers. It's as if the papers hang in the air. I usually an interlocking series of piles on my desk. I am certain that this is an affliction and my cross to bear.

Blogger doesn't seem to like Dragon NaturallySpeaking or else Dragon does not seem like Blogger. However, if I use the dictation box on Dragon, and then say the magic word "transfer," then it works and it works well. I'm leaving in some of the typos. So that you can see the kind of mistakes. It's likely to make. These mistakes are mostly a reflection of me repeating words when I can't think of what to say next and pause unconsciously.

I'm getting very excited about tonight's birthday party for friend K., and I'm going to get to meet Sue Bird at the top something or other store in Shoreline.

On to paper purge phase 1.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

morning is broken

I mean literally. I keep waking up at 3:23 am, wide awake. Day after day. Today I decided to get up and start working on the considerable number of tasks before me.

I tried to run my a larger data set this morning. That was a bust because the software I'm using, Oxford WordSmith has been upgraded, and I have to pay at least 50% for this major upgrade to people on the other side of the world who have no doubt left the office for the pub.

So I turn to organizing myself for a class I have decided to take this summer:
NMETH: 587 Methods of Theory Testing: Causal Modeling with Path Analysis and Structural Equation Modeling

To my ongoing surprise I have become a person who understands what this means. I just hope I don't have to hire a tutor for the statistics this time.

I love this quiet time of the day when the light is barely emerging, and the outside birds are singing, but my parrots are still sleeping. Dogs sleeping, people sleeping.

My sister is here. She has been tinkering with my network. I've dubbed her network manager. She got the color printer/fax working. And the photo printer is now networked. They both need ink. They always need ink! These machines should be given away. They are so about the ink.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

the first purge is the hardest

I wanted to provide evidence that I am purging. E. took pictures for the first purge, but she objected that this didn't count for MY purge because she had already started this project. I pointed out that these books obviously hadn't been purged and I had actually done the final sort. So there was controversy. We resolved it by working together on it. I loaded the bag and E. took pictures. the_neecer, you once said you wanted me to give you any discards from my library. You'll have to visit more often if you want that wish to come true! But I don't purge books that often because that's the hardest, so...
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We also had a discussion about a crap exchange rate because while we may be getting rid of
some books when that bag comes out at the hospital tomorrow, I did bring in more crap yesterday from Costco. I don't think food should count but I bought E. an airplane book and I got a new insulated lunch bag and some bowls to take my food in.

Has anyone else had the crap exchange rate discussion? What have you come up with?

We kept at it and managed to fill the bag. You can see something has to be done! Lucky I bought those giant shopping bags from Costco last winter!

You can see here that we loaded the bag into Paloma's trunk. There is another conversation. Should we call this new beetle Ruby or Paloma?

By the way, I'm getting better mileage with the Beetle, but driving more because it's so dang fun!

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Here Xena Warrior Princess Pup models the empty table for us. You can see she's quite demure about it.

So one tiny surface is now empty.

Yes, that's a book on the sliding keyboard platform, but that belongs to our riding instructor, so we can't purge that to the hospital.

Yes, that's a real dog. You'll recognize her baby picture here.

Well, now I'm inspired.
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view of the crap from the crapper

I started blogging this morning so that I could incentivize myself on my one thing at a time purge. This is a picture of a stack of books I'm going after today. If you look closely, behind the far door, and next to the book case, you'll see a bunch of books that have already been read or spurned by the readers. These are going into a bag today and to one of the hospitals we work for tomorrow.

voodoo lily

voodoo lily, originally uploaded by eleniRX.

the_neecer has been putting up pictures of her lovely garden. This is from our yard!

We can always tell when this thing is blooming. It smells like a rotting corpse and the first spring we spent in our new home, we thought maybe we had a corpse buried on the property. It happens all the time on tv. Then we thought it was a "corpse plant" but we've since been told that the corpse plant smells much much worse!

Here a volunteer has come up among the roses. For the 2 day blooming period the eau d' corpse overpowered the scent of the roses. We have about a dozen rose bushes in this yard and it smells like roses all summer. I'm told this morning by my better half that another name for this odiferous plant is "the d3vil's p3nis."

I've mispelled those last 2 words lest this gets picked up by one of those spider searchers.

'Nuff said

Saturday, June 21, 2008

the storm, the models

We went to another Storm game. The Storm brought the Fever down!

We started talking about which of the Storm players could be a model. E. said only Ashley Robinson is model beautiful and could handle the runway and make a designer want to design for her. I said I thought at a minimum we'd have to include Sheryl Swoopes & Swin Cash.

E. said look at their posture and the way they walk! I said what do you expect--they are in those goofy outfits and poised to chase that ball!

I'm not sure what's going on. The Fashion Palace motto has always been Dresses for Everyone, and It's Not Your Body, it's Your Dress!

disciplined dancing horse

2007 Sherrys Heza Krul

2007 Sherrys Heza Krul, originally uploaded by eleniRX.

This is a picture of Sherry and E. from last summer. Sherry is 17.5 hands tall and has been a schooling horse. She's on her way to becoming a dressage horse. I can't think about dressage without thinking of Foucault's Discipline & Punish. For some trauma, read that book. It was a text in a class I took the first quarter of graduate school and I have never been the same since reading that book.

Today we worked on starting and stopping, starting and stopping. Walk a ways, then have the horse stop. I'm learning to do this all through subtle cues. Squeeze with my legs for go. Deep breath, heels down, elbows back to stop. Turn turn head and shoulders right for turning the horse right. She responds to the change in the distribution in my weight. Work the reins to tell her what's coming up.

Place the bodies in a little world of signals to each of which is attached a single, obligatory response: it is a technique of training, of dressage....The training of school children was to be carried out in the same way: few words, no explanation, a total silence interrupted only by signals--bells, clapping of hands, gestures, a mere glance from the teacher...
--Michel Foucault, Discipline & Punish (1995)

saturday at the tyee farm

This morning I went to the Tyee Farm where our horse Sherrys Heza Krul lives. I seem to be taking riding lessons. We bought this horse for my sweetie. She loves to ride. Actually she wouldn't buy the horse because she wasn't sure it was the horse of her dreams. Sherry is a gorgeous and well trained quarter horse. I told my sweetheart that i thought that this was probably the horse of my dreams, and I was going to buy her. Later, my sweetie asked if she could still ride Sherry if I bought her!

Friday, June 20, 2008


Apparently when I signed up for LinkedIn, I accidentally sent invites to everyone in my contacts list.

Whoops! I guess it's a good think I had all that informatics training. My apologies to all whom I spammed.

Let me make it up to you. Here's a picture of my new car. All I think about is weather good enough to put the top down! That's prolly why I spammed you. We have named her Paloma. She's Paloma Red for all of you who can remember that color!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

other links

I joined facebook too. And mySpace. I've lived an extremely private life. It's strange to think about all the social networking I've been doing. I started these things to see what social networking can contribute to medical informatics.


The NYT has called me out to get LinkedIN and I have done so. I seem to be who they tell me to be.

I have also linked to the NYT article about LinkedIN, even though Michael Arrington at TechCrunch has been writing about the Associated Press backed by the NYT hating on anyone who quotes more than 4 words without paying. Arrington reports that the AP is going after bloggers for linking to them! This could get interesting. I'm a blogger. The internet is not much more than links to pages with more links.

After I signed up for LinkedIn, I was surprised at how many connections came back. Do we just stay on the computer all the time now? I've been thinking about cyberculture, and I have a pile of books on my desk about it. I'm working on a grand theory of my own. More to follow.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

time wasters

I had such high hopes for the weekend. I was going to churn out another draft of the methods paper. Instead, on Saturday, I slept very late because I couldn't sleep the night before. Then I decided to take my sister sightseeing. She's only been living here for 6 months, and I haven't done a damned thing with her. I was going to take her for a tour of Ballard. That was almost the first place I lived in Seattle, so it's the first tour we should take, I reasoned. Then the riding girls called about a barbecue contest, complete with free barbecue in Shoreline, at the Central Market. We decided on the barbecue. I came home sore as hell because before barbecue they got me on one of those wii fit things. My wii fit age is pretty good but according to Nintendo, I'm obese. It said it right on the screen in front of all my friends:

You are obese. Not only that, but my Mii swelled up proportionally right on the screen!

Today I woke up with an exploding face sinus headache. I took some sinus pills and got right into the red chair and watched some Father's Day Lifetime Movies.

Later my sweetie and I went touring--north on I5. We paid the stable fees and farrier for Sherrys Heza Krul.

I'm monitoring the-neecer's progress on the purge. I'm thinking about my purge. She's already to 31 and I can't even make a commitment.

And I had to simpsonize myself. I'm going to try to find this haircut for my nonsimpson self.

I hope my dissertation dominatrix doesn't find this blog. If I don't get some work done by tomorrow, I can't go to the Storm game.

Friday, June 13, 2008


I would like addend my early morning post regarding the 100 things purge. This is something I have been needing to do and I will go kicking and screaming to the purge. I will call mine the "1 thing at a time purge."

I'm about to purge a phone number and an extra cell phone.

100 thing purge

The-neecer has started a 100 thing purge. She got the idea from this guy. Now I have to think about it. There is a lot of crap in this house. My crap has crap.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

today's report

I'm totally into women's basketball this year. The Storm is 6 & 3.

I'm really digging the convertible, even though we've had some chilly days and my sweetheart has informed me that Ruby is not a sports car. Today we were colder than the Siberians who apparently share our latitude. I put the top down, turned on the buttwarmer and let the heater blast. I may not be a born Seattlite, but I've certainly naturalized.

A unicorn was born.

I found someone with almost the same name as mine in South Australia. I'm going to try and connect her to my family tree. Did I tell you I'm an amateur genealogist? I finally traced my peeps back to the American Revolution. I'm not sure I'll be joining the DAR, but it was fun to search for that stuff. I found documents with a greatx6 or 7 grandfather's name indicating a pension for his service in the Revolutionary war. Through the Magees we seem to be related to a lot of famous people sharing grandmothers in the 15th or 16th century. I was on to finding a connection to Booker T. Washington but can't nail it down yet.

My dearest lost friend has decided to come to my birthday party. I was very mean to her many years ago and have tried to make it up to her many times. I'm not to ask about her son who died.

My other dear lost friend is coming with a guest. I found her a few years ago by calling every C. in the Portland, Battleground phone books. From a phone booth outside of Battleground.

Another lost friend hasn't responded. I found her a few years ago by sending letters to every address she's had in Los Angeles in 20 years.

PennyK isn't coming. She has her residency for Goddard in Port Townsend. I keep begging her but I have to stop. She has to go to her residency.

Speaking of residencies, the AMA has lost their nut over the new Doctor of Nursing Practice degree. They are trying to pass a resolution saying that only "medical doctors, dentists---" and a few others can use the title "doctor." And they want us to be supervised by physicians. Even though study after study has shown that nurse practitioner work is comparable or better than that of a physician. As if that weren't enough, they want to control who can use the word "residency" to describe their training programs. Here in Washington we will not stand for that crap. We have a lobbyist!

Come to think of it, one of my patients told me today that I had gotten his meds "better than his real doctor ever does..." I told him that sometimes old nurses know a few things young doctors haven't heard of.

One of my coworkers is trying to adopt a baby. We haven't worked together for a while, all during the primaries. We privately and behind closed doors gossiped about how we don't think Obama can get elected. He's neck and neck with McCain. Nader has 6% in the polls which is more than the difference between Obama and McCain. The youngsters we work with do not want an Obama/Clinton ticket. But with Clinton's supporters moving over to McCain, an Obama/Clinton could kill two birds with one stone. Unite the party, and beat McCain.

On the subject of lobbyists and Obama, I read where many of Obama's top staffers are registered lobbyists. Yes, it's fox news, but I doubt they got this wrong. So much for change. He's just cagey enough to keep this out of the news his youthful followers will read.

But as soon as this election is over I'm going to work for a 3rd party. I seem to have become a Green somewhere along the way. But when I look at the green website I'm uninspired. I might have to start my own stop the insanity political party.

My little Xena has to have knee surgery. We have to send her to her Grandmother in Houston because we won't be able to keep her still for the 5-6 weeks it will take to recover.

I hired a dissertation dominatrix to stay after me to finish that last paper. I am about 10 revisions of a 30 page paper away from graduating. I want that all done by the first week of school next fall.

I've been thinking a lot about poems, and trying to find videos of poets I love on YouTube. I haven't found any Olga Broumas, Jane Miller or Jorie Graham, but I did find some Billy Collins and Julian Curry. They blew me away. I tried to sign up for Centrum but they are full. I think if I just immerse myself in good writing and readings of good writing, maybe the poems will come back.

Finally, Jon Stewart waterboarded a muppet on June 11, 2008. You'll have to search for the June 11 episode. I can't find a clip directly to it yet.

I think that wraps up the evening news.

Monday, June 09, 2008

nigger niggas niggaz--by Julian Curry

This is some fine poetry.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

made a favicon

It took some time to figure it out. This guy finally spelled it out but these people made it happen.

Explored Blogger in draft, added a cool blogroll of poets. I was sucked into the poetry today, and now want to figure out how best to put my poems up.

new car

We bought a new car. We have not bought a car since we've known each other. We had to do it. The SUV I was driving was getting 13 miles to the gallon.

We wanted to help the world and buy a hybrid. However, we couldn't get our hands one one. It's a 3-4 month wait, now that the gas costs so much. For giggles we test drove a VW Beetle convertible on a used car lot. I was terribly anxious, but kind of excited.

We went to some VW car lots and drove more bugs. We wound up buying a red convertible beetle. We call her Ruby. My mileage is still not that great, about 26 mpg, but if you factor in all the fun, I think it's ok.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Sunday, June 01, 2008

on aging and finding lost friends

I'm turning 50 this year. I'm so happy and feel so lucky. When I started planning my party I started thinking of all the people over the years who have helped me at each step along the way. I wanted to invite them all to my party to show them that their investment in me has paid off. I contribute to the world.

It was hard to find some folks. Some I couldn't find at all. Few have agreed to come to my party. Most of the friends were lost because we changed and went different directions. People don't seem to want to look back. They want to remain forgotten, and to continue forgetting me.